Those are the words Josie used to describe her pain tonight. It is hard to gauge her pain. She goes from feeling pretty good, to intense pain in just a matter of minutes. I hate seeing her suffer so.
Today was a rough one, with some bright spots.
The night was long. Josie couldn't sleep. She was just too uncomfortable. Josh changed her bandages in the night, and then we both did in the morning.
We were shocked with what we saw. I was really worried she might be getting an infection. Our appointment with the burn specialist couldn't come fast enough. If only I knew what we were getting ourselves into!
I knew they said a two hour appointment. I was hoping that was due to a lot of paperwork to fill out, or something along those lines. I was so very wrong.
After they undressed Josie's burns, they had to scrape them. You read that right, SCRAPE!!!! A necessary torture I am told. I surely wish they could have drugged her more, or put her to sleep for this. She was just writhing in pain. After the scraping, they had to cut away all the dead skin. More screams and tears. Tears from Josie, Mommy, Daddy, and the nurse!
Josh said maybe I shouldn't have gone to the appointment. That maybe it was too much for me to endure. I don't know though. I need to know what kind of suffering our poor darling girl is going through, even if it means I will have nightmares for weeks.
We learned that these few weeks may be more than a few, and they will be tough ones. The 2nd and 3rd degree burns on her leg will take time to heal.
Josie is starting to realize that life is going to look very different for a while. When I told her today that we would have to cancel the camping trip this weekend, I feel like I broke her heart. She seemed so defeated. Talking through the logistics of trying to camp when you can't even walk to the bathroom started to make more sense, but she was very disappointed.
Although it was a very tough day, we had some bright spots that helped today not seem so bad. Josie had visitors galore! She also had some special things like balloons, and flowers, and candy that make any girl's day brighter.
We have been so overwhelmed (in a good way!) with all the encouragement that has come our way. Phone calls and texts, visits and prayers. Cards, and emails with well wishes and scripture. Help with meals (really yummy meals!) and help with rides. I've even had help picking up Isaac for me (since I still can't lift him because of my back). We are so thankful for the Body of Christ who has helped us through this difficult time.
Please keep praying for Josie. Please pray for her pain to ease up. That is the biggest request I ask now. Her poor little body is in so much pain and discomfort, it is really the saddest thing.
Please also pray for her to feel encouraged. Tomorrow may be hard. It is the day she is missing her big field trip and AWANA, two things she was very much looking forward to.
Please keep Josh and I in your prayers too. I still have prenatal appointments, and chiropractor appointments to keep, we are having a lot of unforeseen expenses right now, and we are still trying to do normal life with the other kiddos (school, homework, soccer, bedtimes, etc) We could really use the extra prayers. Thank you all so much who have been faithful in lifting us up before the Lord.
Josie resting with her balloon bouquet close by.