Friday, January 23, 2009

When Did This Happen?

Two years ago I lay waiting in a hospital bed. Josh was with me. Helping me not be nervous. All of the preparations were done, and soon I was being rolled down a hall by myself. We made a joke that since we did not have a girl name picked out, this one, our number three, would be a girl as well.
After a couple more pokes with needles I found myself strapped to a table, with my dear Joshua by my side. A few quick cuts (later we learn maybe TOO quick) and she is out. So quiet. It's a girl! No surprise there. Oh, we waited to find out, but I think we both kinda knew. Hence the pressure to try and nail another perfect name for another perfect daughter. I see a few glimpses. Her hair is a fluffy light brown. She is SO red. Just a moment. One kiss on her forehead and my baby is gone with her loving Daddy. As I lay on the operating table, thinking of my darling new blessing from heaven, one name came. One from a list of nine we had. Adelaide.
As they wheel me into a recovery room Josh has our sweet bundle in his arms. "I think this is our Addie" he says. Two separate rooms, not able to discuss and we both picked the same name. "Adelaide means of noble and kind spirit" we tell the nurse. "Let's hope she lives up to that" she quips back.
The rest of the day seems a blur of sheer bliss, and heavy drugs. Emma and Josie come to meet their newest little living doll. Emma is ecstatic, Josie unsure. After all, she just having 16 months with me was still a baby herself.
In the quiet of the night though, when Josh takes the girls home, when the stream of students ends, when the nurses seem to have forgotten the room at the end of the hall, I get to know her. My girl. She has so many birthmarks! Her hair, looks, curly? She, at 8lbs, 4oz and 20" long is by far my biggest baby, but she seems so tiny in my arms.
Those are the times I cherish. Special one on one getting to know you times we shared. More, than we originally planned, as during the c-section they nicked my bladder, and my bladder decided it did not like that and so it bled... a lot. They really wanted me to stick around until that stopped. I didn't mind though. I knew that when we got back home, I had two more sweet little ones that needed my attention, and a husband who needed me, and students who needed me, and minus the two am feedings, this was our only alone time.
Fast forward two whole years. Today! I wait for my darling to come home from morning carpool, with the smell of cupcakes in the oven, so we can do our family tradition: waking up the birthday girl with a birthday song. Emma was sad. This is the first time she would miss this. I told her I'd sing twice as loud for her.
My baby. No. My GIRL is two!


Lindsey said...

Gah! I love love her hair. She's like a real person now...weird!

In one picture I think she looks just like Emma, then in another I think she looks just like Josie. Gosh, I'm so confused.

I hope you are doing fabulously, Tamara, with all of your freakishly grown up kids (don't even get me started on Emma)!!

thesscurry said...

What a sweet note to save for your little Addie... I wish I could so vividly remember such details as you have been able to write down. You are an awesome Mom - and even though a few miles separate us and a lot of life that we call busy-ness, you are loved and highly thought of - by not just me!
Love you Dear Tamara! I'm glad Josh chose you too!